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How To Beat The Stock Market

Posted By I Love Pumpkins on March 10, 2009

Since my last blog entry, I’ve been busy studying the important correlation between stock market returns between the years 1969 – 1983 and pumpkins.
Understanding Pumpkins Will Help You Beat The Stock Market
I’ve discovered that stock market seasonality is directly related to the availability of pumpkins! Indeed, stock market returns go up as soon as pumpkin foods become broadly available in the Fall.

Thank you for the avalanche of emails you sent during my research sabbatical. Your patience and support over the last three months was invaluable to me while I undertook this important study. In these tough economic times, our society needs trustworthy, high-quality information, and I am so proud that the pumpkin community is playing a central role in the economic recovery that must unfold slowly over the next several years.

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I Love Pumpkins

Comments

One Response to “How To Beat The Stock Market”


  1. Thanks for the very important new research to liberate the poor desecrated pumpkin.
    In my October 1989 study, “The Truth is Canned Orange,” it should have been common, household knowledge that the advent of Libby’s canned pumpkin in 1929 is the true reason for the stock market crash (October) and proceeding years of depression. (Haven’t read it? Libby’s buried it after discovering that “doctored” photo of me from the patch… but I digress.)

    It was only until tin & aluminum became scarce during the war years that Libby’s business declined, giving the markets time to recover. Then, when their business spontaneously rebounded during the great pumpkin famine of 1987… it was a short two years later that the market again crashed hard in October, the year they celebrated record sales! Subsequent fall market crashes in 2000 and 2008 correlate with their sales numbers.

    Its important that the truth come out. Our combined research can finally achieve my dream of listing pumpkins on the commodities exchange… and discrediting Libby’s! Let’s meet up tomorrow, grab some “belgian” beer and discuss… What say you?

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